The Coolest Details of the 2014 Mercedes-Benz S63 AMG

"Earthbound And Down" (andrewkrok)
06/20/2014 at 16:20 • Filed to: mercedes, mercedes-benz, AMG, S63 AMG

The 2014 Mercedes-Benz S63 AMG is the marque's flagship, the vehicle that every other car aspires to be. Its exterior lines have been given an elegant smoothing-over in the face of the previous generation's explicit flared-fender aggression. But, as we learned with the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , the devil's in the details, and there are plenty of interesting little bits scattered around the S63 AMG.

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The S63's exterior needs to be classy (it's not a toy like the Cayman was), so there aren't too many stand-out details – except for the headlights. Nowadays, with LED strips thinner than the kale your weird hippie coworker eats, headlight design can incorporate all manner of interesting shapes and angles. The S63's lights are pretty restrained in that regard, save for the big ol' LED eyebrows just above the projectors. However, if you look closer, you'll see that Mercedes felt the need to inscribe the name of its lighting system inside the headlamp (along with its own name, natch).

The first thing you'll notice in the S63's interior is its dashboard. If you opt for the full Nappa-leather interior, your dashboard will come completely wrapped in diamond-perforated leather. Not only does it look bad ass, but … okay, there's no actual, legitimate functionality to come from this, it just looks cool.

If you buy an S63, you need need need to spring for the upgraded Burmester 3D premium audio system. Not only is it the best aural experience you can have in a car (Hugh Grant might beg to differ), but the speaker shrouds themselves are miniature works of art. From the standard door speakers, to the massive one in-between the two panoramic sunroofs, to the three-dimensional tweeters on the A-pillars, it's almost as nice to look at as it is to listen to.

For its new generation of cars, Mercedes has seen fit to revamp the controls for its COMAND infotainment system. Now, you have a cute little wrist-rest, under which lies the scroll wheel, all of which is flanked by a bevy of buttons. The best part of it, though, is hidden away; flip back the cover of the wrist-rest, and you'll find the telephony buttons.

Honestly, it wouldn't be a proper Mercedes-Benz without a full telephone keypad.

Apparently, S-Class owners don't always need a Big Gulp of Code Red at the ready. Therefore, Mercedes found a way to make the cupholder space useful in other ways. A simple touch of the panel ahead of the front cupholders will release a lid that turns the pair of cupholders into a single tray. BMW tried to do this, as well, but it included a separate piece that went over the cupholders. And, as we all know, separate pieces are for the middle class.

If you thought the rear-seat cupholders wouldn't be as intricate as the front ones, you thought wrong . The rear cupholders are actually twice as cool as the front ones; in order to delete the cupholder, all you need to do is touch a single button and the floor of the cupholder will raise up, giving you yet another flat surface to utilize.

Rear-seat passengers that aren't too busy being mesmerized by the cupholders (or too high) will notice the ludicrous number of buttons available on each rear door. So long as you've ticked the right option boxes, not only are the rear seats adjustable and capable of being stored to memory, but they are also heated and ventilated.

Of course, if you're being chauffeured around in this car, you'll want to be able to control everything in the back from your specific seat. That's why each door panel comes with four window switches. The top two control the rear windows and their power sunshades. The bottom two buttons control the cover for the rear sunroof and the power rear sunshade. Because who should have to ask the driver (or Dad, or Mom) to raise and lower the sunshade?

Finally, just like the Cayman, there are an inappropriate number of ashtrays in the S63 AMG. There's a giant ashtray that pops out just above the cupholders, but the ashtray itself doesn't seem removable, which would make cleaning it a real pain in the ass. Thankfully, the smoking situation is a little better in the back seat, as Mercedes included a portable ashtray that will fit in either the cupholders or a small recess in the door panel. Do the Germans really smoke that much? Haven't they read the news in the last 50 years?

Republished (and slightly tweaked) with permission from !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . Or maybe it wasn't with permission. I don't know; I just do shit until they yell at me.

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DISCUSSION (100)

Brian Silvestro > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 16:26

Whenever I see an S Class on the road, all I can think of is a praying mantis. Looks exactly like one with those LEDs.

Earthbound And Down > Brian Silvestro
06/20/2014 at 16:28

Oooh, I totally see it now (literally; it's about 100 feet away from my seat), good call.

Party-vi > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 16:29

I would love it if companies gave me press vehicles to drive around and critique.

Brian Silvestro > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 16:29

IT'S GOING TO MURDER EVERYONE

Earthbound And Down > Party-vi
06/20/2014 at 16:33

Don't worry. Just follow my patented method, which will be explained in greater detail in a later Oppo post:

- Drop out of Computer Engineering.

- Obtain an English degree.

- Wait tables for years and years.

- Luck into it.

Party-vi > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 16:34

I'm 25% there - I dropped out of Mech. engineering.

twinturbobmw > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 16:36

The sound system is truely amazing on this car. When I got the chance to check out the car at an auto show with a friend we turned up the volume quite a ways and it sounded fantastic. We also played with the ambient lighting colors for a while.

LHturbo > Brian Silvestro
06/20/2014 at 16:37

Only if you run across a female s class

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 16:37

Kinja'd!!!

Must be a 2014, not a 2015.

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 16:38

Kinja'd!!!

Nice touch, you can set your phone here and it won't scratch or move around. Very nice touch.

MazdaMonkey > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 16:39

Hmm, this article reminds me of something . . .

http://dougdemuro.kinja.com/here-are-the-c…

Brian Silvestro > LHturbo
06/20/2014 at 16:39

Haha get it, because praying mantis.

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 16:40

Are you doing a full review? I love these things, can't wait to hear your impressions.

Saw one the other day, nothing has presence like an AMG S-Class. Really amazing vehicles.

Voice of C. Montgomery Burns > MazdaMonkey
06/20/2014 at 16:43

Yeah, but this guy doesn't own a Ferrari 360.

heliochrome85 > Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment
06/20/2014 at 16:44

accurate

nopenopenopenopenopenope > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 16:45

Kinja'd!!!

Holy crap... Are there... no blank buttons?

bobrayner > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 16:54

It's difficult to express the awesomeness until you sit in one of these, drive it, feel it . This isn't some sportscar which can be described with a couple of numbers (hp, torque) plus a hard seat. There are so many little details which make you comfortable and happy; controls which just happen to lie exactly where your hand is a moment before you even think about pressing a button; and so on.

NG22 > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 16:54

Fuckin gorgeous car.

Stephen > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 17:01

Kinja'd!!!

They actually printed "High End" on the speaker grilles. As if the word Burmeister alone wasn't enough to impress people.

I nominate this as a leading candidate for 2014's Most Pretentious Car Option

Earthbound And Down > MazdaMonkey
06/20/2014 at 17:02

Except mine is a lot less funny, and not a video, and not using a standard S-Class.

Hypocrisy doesn’t make me wrong > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 17:05

That's it, I've decided... that in 10 years when these depreciate to 20K I'm gunna spring for one. This is just cool enough to deal with huge maintenance bills and having to mortgage my house to afford gas (which I imagine will be somewhere around $20/gallon by then). Now I thought that I would hold out for the 65, but this seems to be a compromise that I can live with.

Maybe Ill just have it idle in front of the house and enjoy those heated/cooled/massaging/life changing seats.

TonBenRon > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 17:05

Kinja'd!!!

What is this... a Volvo?

Earthbound And Down > twinturbobmw
06/20/2014 at 17:05

Yeah, the clarity is mind-blowing at any volume.

I like discovering quieter layers in the song that I've never heard before, even on my AudioTechnica monitors.

Earthbound And Down > Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment
06/20/2014 at 17:09

I am. I've got it this weekend, and I'll probably write the review Monday or so.

Earthbound And Down > Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment
06/20/2014 at 17:09

Yeah, it's easily the coolest little detail on the car that many probably won't even experience.

Luckily, I touch everything in the car ten minutes after I sign the papers for it. I'm like a blind child on Christmas in these cars.

Earthbound And Down > bobrayner
06/20/2014 at 17:10

The transmission hurts my soul (awful shuddering on the 3-2 downshift, every time, unless I do it manually), but everything else about this car is world-class.

The S-Class holds the luxury crown for sure.

MentalJuggernaut > Brian Silvestro
06/20/2014 at 17:11

RIGHT?! G

Earthbound And Down > Hypocrisy doesn’t make me wrong
06/20/2014 at 17:11

Spring for the 65 if you want rear-wheel drive. The S63 AMG is 4MATIC-only in the U.S., if I recall correctly.

Tune a 65 motor and you can absolutely roast the tires at 60-70 mph. Nothing terrifies other folks like a car that has a hard time hooking up at highway speeds.

Earthbound And Down > Stephen
06/20/2014 at 17:13

Well to be fair, there is a base-model Burmester system in the S63, as well. The 3D audio system is a $6k upgrade.

Earthbound And Down > nopenopenopenopenopenope
06/20/2014 at 17:13

Only two.

Earthbound And Down > TonBenRon
06/20/2014 at 17:13

It's the most sensible way to explain automatic seat controls, is what it is.

BrianMadigan > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 17:22

Kinja'd!!!

I want an option to replace the words "High End" with "Very Fancy" or "Super Expensive"

CammedCTSV > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 17:23

Kinja'd!!!

The S65 is taunting me from downstairs....Come see it tomorrow morning. Cars & Coffee St Petersburg. 7am at the duPont REGISTRY. 3051 Tech Drive, 33716

Battery Tender Unnecessary > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 17:23

I'm going to sound pedantic but the S65 is the flagship sedan. A good read regardless a ;)

BrianMadigan > TonBenRon
06/20/2014 at 17:25

Have you ever BEEN in a Mercedes-Benz, commoner?

Manuél Ferrari > Brian Silvestro
06/20/2014 at 17:30

All I can think of is how I can't wait until 4 years passes and I can get one of these used for $28K

Earthbound And Down > CammedCTSV
06/20/2014 at 17:34

If I could make it to Florida by 7 am tomorrow, I'd consider it.

But I'd need to leave, like, now.

Earthbound And Down > Battery Tender Unnecessary
06/20/2014 at 17:38

Wholly pedantic, but also correct. :)

Short of the rear-seat options for executives, though, the equipment between 63 and 65 are very close.

I don't think the S63 has Active Park Assist, though - just the 65. Which would have come in handy yesterday when I wedged the S63 into a parallel-parking spot that left me about 4 inches on either side. That top-down camera view is a godsend.

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 17:45

Haha I can imagine. I'm the same way any time I'm in a new car. I can't help myself.

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 17:45

Excellent, looking forward to it.

BrianMadigan > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 17:48

I have an old S-class with lots of cool features that no other car had at the time. I'm talking old. Not the one with the self-closing doors (S420 of the 90s) and all that, I'm talking about the one a decade earlier. Every one of those gizmos is just something your girlfriend or a family member is going to break. They will play with them until something shorts out or breaks because MB thought limit switches would be too complicated. For example, when you use the electronic seat controls, never put the seat all the way down or all the way forward. It will get stuck that way because the controls have no limit switches. When you hit the limit of the mechanical movement, the electronics keep pushing (or pulling). Ask my about the time my brother put the window down and the window glass exploded. Like a gunshot. Booom! glass everywhere. Why? No limit switches? No, because brother that's why. Thank God he's terrified of the glass in that car now, maybe he will treat it with a bit more caution. Other people slam the doors because they don't think they're shut. Yes the doors shut quietly with a thunk. Something odd about them that makes people think they aren't closed, but they are. Don't open them and slam them shut repeatedly, they aren't going to get any more shut, and the glass is going to explode if you do it again. Or they try to lean the seats all the way back. Don't do that. It's not funny when I have to spend 4 hours of my Saturday fixing the fucking thing. There's nothing wrong with my Mercedes, it's the people I let get in it that have the problem.

One of the gizmos I wish my car had, which was probably an option at the time, was the fancy electronic sunshades. I also don't have the rear electric headrests in mine. The headrests on the driver and passenger seat do go up and down using a control on the door.

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > CammedCTSV
06/20/2014 at 17:49

2015 S65 is literally the only car I'd need to own for the rest of my life. It's pure sex in automotive form.

Hypocrisy doesn’t make me wrong > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 17:52

That's good knowledge right there, as much extra the V12 will cost in additional maintenance over the V8, I'd imagine the AWD might make that equation a wash . A buddy of mine has a CL65 (2004) and it is an absolute blast to drive, with the exception of the P85, I've never experienced such smooth acceleration, and once you hit 100 there is not competition.

I guess Ill just have to wait and see how I feel in 8-10 years!

melbatoast > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 17:56

I can't wait to buy this for twenty grand in five years.

Hoff > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 18:07

Kinja'd!!!

Squeeze both sides of the ashtray in at the serrated grips. Boom.

GreenN_Gold > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 18:09

Similar to my parent's Pacifica, along with Memory 1 and 2, heated seats, and power pedals. One good thing Chrysler got from Daimler. (Stock photo, not responsible for the dust)

Kinja'd!!!

GreenN_Gold > BrianMadigan
06/20/2014 at 18:10

"The Shit"

Brickman > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 18:16

Kinja'd!!!

So fancy. Ooo la la

NWH83 > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 18:22

All I see is expensive repairs the day after the warranty expires.

Brian Silvestro > Manuél Ferrari
06/20/2014 at 18:22

Mother of God you're right.

Outback XT > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 18:24

Kinja'd!!!

Wenkel speaker...

In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you > CammedCTSV
06/20/2014 at 18:27

OH FUCK I LIVE IN FLORIDA JUST 40 MINUTES AWAY!!!

In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you > Battery Tender Unnecessary
06/20/2014 at 18:28

Let me guess, you're buying one?

Outback XT > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 18:29

Kinja'd!!!

Does the sub have "Low End" printed on it?

472CID > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 18:29

Wow, not gunna lie that might be the most impressive interior I've seen outside of a Rolls Royce or Pagani.

DipodomysDeserti > BrianMadigan
06/20/2014 at 18:31

I picked up a 2001 335d and it has one of those electronic sunshades on the back window and the manual ones on the side windows. I'm waiting for my three year old to rip one out of the door. I have a German made bindery machine that also has no limit switches. If you lower the delivery too much it hits the floor an will bend the mechanism and throw the chain.

Manuél Ferrari > Brian Silvestro
06/20/2014 at 18:33

Runs to see if there are any prior gen AMG versions of the last S Class on Carmax

Outback XT > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 18:34

Kinja'd!!!

Such blank button

Manuél Ferrari > Brian Silvestro
06/20/2014 at 18:37

http://www.carmax.com/enus/view-car/…

They don't have any with more miles for cheaper

A high-mileage S63 AMG for under $50K with a Carmax warranty would be awesome.

Fuck Liberals > Brian Silvestro
06/20/2014 at 18:43

How about just Justin Bieber?

rabidcontent > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 18:46

Kinja'd!!!

When I saw the first picture I thought it was a rotor. I had momentary fantasies of a Mercedes/Mazda hybrid with a 2.6L Wankel pushing 800+ with a redline in the clouds.

I am disappoint.

Brian Silvestro > Manuél Ferrari
06/20/2014 at 18:57

Kinja'd!!!

I've heard that the S65 V12s are pretty reliable actually. But I don't believe those rumors.

Manuél Ferrari > Brian Silvestro
06/20/2014 at 19:05

This one was the turbo V8

If it was the V12 then it would be amazing. V12 with Carmax warranty? Sign me up

Brian Silvestro > Manuél Ferrari
06/20/2014 at 19:20

I know it has the 8. This is the only car with 12 cylinders on Carmax right now:

http://www.carmax.com/enus/view-car/…

Manuél Ferrari > Brian Silvestro
06/20/2014 at 19:21

WE NEED TO BUY IT

Torque Affair > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 19:22

Wow, I'll have to figure out a way to listen to the audio in this car!

Brian Silvestro > Manuél Ferrari
06/20/2014 at 19:26

Slap some actual good looking (I recommend stock) wheels on that bitch and you have yourself the perfect company car for you and your dad!!!

Manuél Ferrari > Brian Silvestro
06/20/2014 at 19:29

We would need to hire a driver too. Then it would be perfect.

Can't decide if I'd rather have a hot female driver or an older guy who tells really cool stories and charms guests that ride in the car.

Brian Silvestro > Manuél Ferrari
06/20/2014 at 19:35

Why not one of your current employees?

I'd probably go with the older guy because he'd probably be the better driver.

Manuél Ferrari > Brian Silvestro
06/20/2014 at 19:41

Nobody around that has that much time.

(I was thinking that too but didn't want to say it)

ptak appreciates old racecars > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 19:45

"(Hugh Grant might beg to differ)"

WHAT YOU DID THERE I SEE IT

Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez > BrianMadigan
06/20/2014 at 19:46

After owning a few S-Classes, they absolutely have limit switches. It's integrated in the CAN-BUS, and in fact, that's how you reset the automatic functions after you replace the battery.

Brian Silvestro > Manuél Ferrari
06/20/2014 at 20:06

USE THEM FOR SLAVE LABOR

Manuél Ferrari > Brian Silvestro
06/20/2014 at 20:10

I wonder how much the Walmart greeters make. Then again they might be too old, lol

Brian Silvestro > Manuél Ferrari
06/20/2014 at 20:12

Lol that's a little too old yeah, you'd need to find a company that hires out drivers. They probably have all the cool old people.

tapzz > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 20:16

Kinja'd!!!

Not sure I could live with that font.

Shudder.

Manuél Ferrari > Brian Silvestro
06/20/2014 at 20:17

Probably

I want one who sounds like Morgan Freeman

Doug Nash > Manuél Ferrari
06/20/2014 at 20:33

That's not far from the truth. We have some friends who picked up a ~2011 CLS 550 for something like $40K. The thing is 100% pristine. A new model was way beyond their means, so when I first saw it, I figured they had gotten suckered into a lease. But nope. The bought it for cash. They keep their cars forever, so it's such a great move.

DollaMoneyAve > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 20:34

"The 2014 Mercedes-Benz S63 AMG is the marque's flagship, the vehicle that every other car aspires to be"

Then what is the S65 AMG?

Manuél Ferrari > Doug Nash
06/20/2014 at 20:42

I love used German cars! I don't care about the risks. Probably because I've had weirdly good luck.

I've bought 6 used German cars so far over an 18 year period that were anywhere from 1 to 15 years old (oldest was a 1981 and newest a 2011) and never got burned. I've never had anything break that was crazy expensive to fix.

I dunno why I've had such good luck. I've taken risks and purchased cars with no warranty without having a PPI done. I need to be more careful going forward so my good luck doesn't run out.

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > BrianMadigan
06/20/2014 at 20:46

Jeezus, sounds like your car has some problems...also the people who ride in your car sound like a pain in the ass, I would hate that.

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > Brian Silvestro
06/20/2014 at 20:48

Do it, believe it. You know you want to.

Actually, the coil packs can go every 50 or 60k if you mistreat the car and they're like 1200 for a pair. Other than that...the engines are pretty bulletproof.

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > NWH83
06/20/2014 at 20:52

And when you marry a gorgeous woman you could think of the day she'll start looking old and require maintenance too but I find life is more fun when you just enjoy the good stuff.

Earthbound And Down > Hoff
06/20/2014 at 20:56

Well played. Thank you!

Manuél Ferrari > Brian Silvestro
06/20/2014 at 21:05

Check it out, Ferrari made less than 600 of these V12 Superamericas:

http://www.autotrader.com/cars-for-sale/…

Not a bad price.

BUT of course it does not have Manuél :((

Brian Silvestro > Manuél Ferrari
06/20/2014 at 21:13

Dat targa top though...

Damn, that would be perfect with el Manuél....

Doug Nash > Manuél Ferrari
06/20/2014 at 21:20

I truly and absolutely believe in Kar Karma. Some people have good Karma, and some don't. Knock wood, we've always had great luck with every car we've ever owned. That includes parents, siblings, and spouse. And THAT is a ton of combined cars, from every manufacturer. Conversely, I know people who just can't catch a break. More accurately, they just have a dark cloud above them, as if they are willing shit to go bad so they have a reason to complain.

As for used steals, there is nothing close to a used super-high end German sedan. Those things depreciate more quickly than Iraqi real estate.

Manuél Ferrari > Brian Silvestro
06/20/2014 at 21:21

There are a ton of LP 640 Roadsters for sale

But all are E Gear :(

Zero with El Manuél

I want an open top V12 roadster so bad. It would be like a big classic F12 car

Brian Silvestro > Manuél Ferrari
06/20/2014 at 21:28

I KNOW, the only one I found with el Manuél is that sexy gray coupé that's out of price range. Jesus that car was sex.

Manuél Ferrari > Doug Nash
06/20/2014 at 21:32

That must be a real thing! Everyone in my immediate family has been very lucky with cars too. But I know people who always have bad luck.

One is my ex gf. Her cars always have lots of issues and often get hit by other drivers. I think it's because she's a pretty mean person to everyone she is around so her Kar Karma sucks!

LOL to Iraqi real estate.

Manuél Ferrari > Brian Silvestro
06/20/2014 at 21:37

Fuck it all, we both need to buy Testarossas

Cheaper than the 512TR

Also appreciating

Gated Manuél

Your Dad should buy one too

Maybe if you showed him how much MONEY he can make with used cars he'll start liking them!

The 512M's price is going up every single second. I read on FChat that one sold recently for over $300K! You could probably get one 10 years ago for $100K

DerpyDoodle > Earthbound And Down
06/20/2014 at 21:40

"Do the Germans really smoke that much? Haven't they read the news in the last 50 years?" . . Yes and Yes . . Their European customers (Russians, French, Italians, Swiss) smoke even more . .

Brian Silvestro > Manuél Ferrari
06/20/2014 at 21:40

WUT

that's so much money!!

That's what I said earlier! You should just get one of those. You'll have so much fun.

Manuél Ferrari > Brian Silvestro
06/20/2014 at 21:56

I know!

And I know!

But I want better handling and spider and modern looks.

If I was already married then I would go older for sure. But it doesn't hurt to have an F430 or Gallardo spider when you're not married, as that YouTube video proved, LOL

Manuél Ferrari > Brian Silvestro
06/20/2014 at 22:09

BTW is Nibby Asian or does he have Asian girl fetish?